how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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