At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
