Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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