wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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