I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
No subtext here. People are naked.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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