it wasn't lemon gatorade
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
