Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
