that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
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