I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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