i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
