Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
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