I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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