Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
