i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just high enough for therapy.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
