Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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