Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I have post one night stand depression
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