lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
