If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
