now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
