yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize