Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
