woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
