dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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