Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
