Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Couch. On fire.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
