i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
