i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
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a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
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I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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