i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
