It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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