Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize