her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
