did you get engaged???
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize