home. puking in laundry basket.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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