Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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