Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
