apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
