The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
