I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
