remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
