you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
