nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
