Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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