I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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