He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
