i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
