so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
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As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
I'm going back tonight
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
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And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I got copblocked.
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.