i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
