your room smells of hookers.
And success
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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