Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
