So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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