And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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