I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
