can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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