He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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