it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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