She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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