Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
barbara walters just said penis...
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
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I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
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a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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