but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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