I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
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