Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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