WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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