help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
